SolarPlexus

I’m getting tired of the bully-boy antics of crows, magpies and gulls - we get pigeons, ducks and the odd goose but they don’t tend to terrorise sparrows and robins - so I’m finally trying to attract some smaller birds into the garden by sticking some nosebag out.

The big problem is that we have a healthy squirrel population, but since we more than cater to their yearly needs with our big hazel tree, I don’t feel like letting them at the wee birds’ food too.

Jez bought a nice steel feeder-sphere this year, it looks like something out of an inquisitional dungeon - the aim being to let little birds in but keep big greedy squirrels out. His good lady, Natalie, suggested I try using spent Coke bottles on a wire: the theory being that Mr Squiggle can’t get around them because they spin, chucking him off into space.

From the pictures you can get the idea without me writing a yard of instructions, and so far the indications are good. The system certainly supplied much merriment to us yesterday as a particularly large brute of a squirrel (ie. a proven greedy bastard) attempted to get around the bottles.

However, for those of you wanting to try this out I’ve already seen some shortcomings that may require remedial work…

1. I’m using plastic-coated washing line - it may not resist gnawing. I could progress to metal fence wire.
2. I may have to assign the line to its own free-standing poles, rather than between two trees. The trees afford higher launching points for a squirrel who tries to plunge at the nutbags, horizontal distance is also factor.
3. Knot the wire, or bulldog clip it, to stop the bottles from traversing along to near the nutbags. A large squirrel can hang, and almost stretch under the coke bottle to reach the nutbag, by swaying to and fro.
4. If you’re not bothered by the aesthetics, or perhaps wish to play-up the bottle aspect a great upgrade would be to use several bottles in line - that’ll stop ‘em!
5. A persistent squirrel may be able to trash the bottle through constant attacks, the plastic may degrade in daylight making it brittle - we’ll see.

If all goes well, I’m going to adjust the tension and stick up loads more food. Aside from that, we expect lots of fun watching the sodding squirrels get puffed out.

My word, it seems to have happened a little early this year - and, by Jove, they’re already playing wall-to-wall Chrimbo songs on Real radio: makes one feel very festive, but my guess is that this feeling will peak too soon.